sOCiety

I graduated. I am a doctor now and that is so fucking wild

When I say I want the privileges of being a man whilst being a woman to my family heatedly; they reply with mutters infused with implores to be grateful, in addition to exchanged glances that are knowingly sad and some worried, as if this is the threshold beyond which one decides to transition. Which is ridiculously wild. I like being a woman. I think being a woman is divine. I just do not want to made to feel lesser as a person solely existing to be married off to become a child bearing and rearing entity. I do not want to be led to believe that my presence in certain locations is foreign and at times being a muted version of myself is the best way to be. I do not want to be ignored and be told, I cannot do certain things. I certainly do not want to be harassed whilst I do the most trivial activities.

I want to address how society collectively wants everybody to get married off so incredibly soon. I am 23 and that to me is ‘only 23’, however to others it translates to ‘I am 23 and I am about to pass the age of desirability, because to be a woman is to be consumed and that too only for their body. A woman in her early twenties is in her prime after which, they are no longer the flashiest thing to exist’.

A common question I now get is, ‘Am I engaged/nikkafied/married?’. If I was a man, would that happen with such fervour? I genuinely with my entirety wish I could be of any other nationality other than being Pakistani. And not Indian either. Why can't I be European? Why do I have to be born into an existing scaffold of arranged marriages? Why is it so difficult to desire to trudge through life while allowing love to flourish on the sidelines? Also, why the fuck is everybody getting into an arrange marriage and why is the only common denominator amongst all of matches wealth? Marriage and birth rates falling in Korea. And you know what? We need that. We need people to refuse to succumb to societies overbearing pressure and strive to be with the person they will be the most fulfilled by. Collectively, we all need to hope. We need to be tolerant of others. We need to adjust places. We need to be less orthodox and more accepting. We have only one life and let's live it the way we want to live.